I AM FEARLESS!! Alexandra's Story Whether we are two or eighty-nine, we have all felt that tormenting terror that is followed by that heart wrenching feeling of fear. I used to let it dominate my life. My every move. My every breath. My name is Alex, I’m twenty-two, and this is MY STORY. Six years ago I let fear take over my life. I allowed a boy to determine my worth and control my happiness. I was told I wasn’t enough, that nobody could ever love me, that I was too broken, and that I would never succeed in life. I was told this over, and OVER again until eventually I began to believe it. The things that I used to love (being with family, horseback riding, volleyball, hanging out with friends) became my biggest fear. Every time I was “ caught “ doing these things, there were consequences. Even if it was my usual Tuesday and Thursday volleyball practices, or family night. So, I did what unfortunately most people do... I cut anyone and everything out of my life that he didn’t approve of. But it was okay, right? Because we loved each other, and love requires sacrifice. I soon came to realize that those kinds of sacrifices weren’t ones that I should have to make if he truly loved me. As I started focusing on me, and what I wanted, I knew I needed to leave him… I needed to get away and figure out who I was. I moved to China for five AMAZING months and taught English. I wasn’t fully involved with my church at the time, but had some random urge to read the Book of Mormon - cover to cover. So to make it interesting, my roommate and I started a race. Winner bought the other dumplings! It was at this time that I was reading in 1st Nephi. We read about the revelation given to Nephi to go and build a ship. He did this so that his family could receive what was called the Promised Land. His brothers didn’t support him in this effort. In fact, they were still complaining about how they had to just up and leave their luxurious lifestyle! After eliminating this boy from my life, my life didn’t magically get better. I was living in a foreign country, literally LIVING THE DREAM and was still finding myself unhappy. It was hard and I knew that there were things that I had to change. On top of that, I felt alone. I truly felt unlovable and discouraged. I’m sure that Nephi felt some of those same exact emotions. As I continued to compare myself to Nephi, what stuck out to me the most wasn’t that Nephi and I were scared, or that we were wandering from place to place hoping that we were going in the right direction... rather, Nephi didn’t care what others thought he could accomplish. All that mattered was that God said he could, so he did! And guess what, HE GOT HIS PROMISED LAND AND I HAVE FAITH THAT SOME DAY, SO WILL I! I will forever be grateful for the hope I felt as I started to make those connections. That was the moment that I decided to serve a full time mission for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. While serving my mission one of the biggest takeaways I learned was from the Bible. In Matthew we are introduced to the second greatest commandment which is to “ Love thy neighbor AS THYSELF”. (Matthew 22:39) This struck me hard. And sometimes still does. I can be my worst enemy, and harshest judge. When I first began to understand this, I was taken back with a bit of guilt. I thought, “I would never in a million years treat someone else the way treat myself. So why do I?” As I thought more and more about that I began to think, “How could God love such an imperfect person?” Well, God loves ALL of His creations, so that would include me! No matter what I think about my appearance, or who I was/am as a person. God created what I have mistakenly seen as imperfection. But guess what!? HE LOVES EACH AND EVERY ONE OF THOSE THINGS BECAUSE HE CREATED IT. And God doesn’t make mistakes. So, I need to do myself a favor and try my best to treat myself with a little more kindness, a little more understanding, and a whole lot more gentleness. This isn’t a time to live in fear. It’s a time to be FEARLESS. So why is FEARLESS such an important word to me? Because when I decided to live my life fearlessly, I became free! Alexandra is our seventh BEAUTY we are celebrating!! How incredibly BEAUTIFUL is Alexandra?!?! Alexandra's story brought me to tears. She is SO courageous, so powerful, so incredibly amazing, SO BEAUTIFUL and SO FEARLESS!! I am in awe of her strength!! I know first hand, how scary it can be to be in an unhealthy, manipulative and terrifying relationship. It can feel almost impossible to get out!! But with the Lord's help and through the power of prayer we are all unstoppable!! Alexandra's story of being fearless really spoke to me and I hope it speaks to you as well. We should not live in fear, no one deserve that!! Do whatever you can to live FEARLESSLY!! I am SO GRATEFUL this beauty is in my life, SO THANKFUL she answered my model call all those months ago, and SO OVERJOYED that SHE was apart of this project!! She has helped me in my own life and to see myself with more positivity!! We all could do better talking more gently to ourselves and in remembering that GOD MADE US, EACH AND EVERY ONE OF US, AND HE DOESN'T MAKE MISTAKES!! What powerful words!! Alexandra has helped me in my own life and in moving forward with faith, to be FEARLESS. To be FEARLESS and do what sets my soul on fire, to be FEARLESS in pursuing my dreams, to feel no fear of the future because I am in God's hands. Alexandra is a sweet friend of mine and I'm so grateful she came into my life!! Alexandra you have helped me see the light, helped me see myself as God does and helped me feel and be more FEARLESS!! Thank you from the bottom of my heart for that!!!! You are AMAZING and it's an honor to know you!! We love you Alexandra!!!! THANK YOU SOOOO MUCH ALEXANDRA FOR BEING APART OF THIS!!!! You are brave, strong, FEARLESS & BEAUTIFUL!!!! What an honor it was to photograph you, listen to your story, become closer friends with you and truly see and help other women feel of the natural bright light you are!! I just think the world of you and ALEXANDRA, YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL!!!! <3 Alexa Taylor-Jay Ogilvie Taylor Jay Photography It is CRAZY SCARY to put your story out there for the world to see, to talk about such hard things/times. But THIS woman is so strong, so courageous and is sharing HER story with the intent to help other women see themselves as God does. To help YOU on your journey to self-LOVING!! If her story, her courage and her heart touches you please let her know by commenting below!! I JUST ADORE YOU ALEXANDRA!!!! This photo shoot was a dual effort!! The other master photographer behind this photo shoot and idea is Kelsey Bailey Photography!! Please go 'like' her Facebook page >> https://www.facebook.com/KelseyBaileyPhoto/ and click here to view HER STUNNING PHOTOS of Alexandra Scherzinger and all her Celebration of beauty photos as well from our shoot!! >> https://kelseybaileyphotography.weebly.com/celebration-of-beauty/i-am-fearless-alexs-story We had a master videographer documenting every little amazing, tender and BEAUTIFUL moment!! Please click here to see Shaun Schofield from DOZE Videos AMAZING BTS video and get excited to see allllllll the beautiful pictures, stories and the grand finale of throwing color COMING YOUR WAY!!!! Please go 'like' his Facebook page >> https://www.facebook.com/dozevideos/ View Shaun's AWESOME BTS video of our Celebration of Beauty project on his youtube.com channel Please click here to see: >> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b8xniy6r68A Taylor Jay Photography - my Facebook page >> https://www.facebook.com/taylorjayphotography/ Here's ALLLL the details below to the why we are posting these women, their personal stories and their journey to no longer self-hating but SELF-LOVING!!!! This is an incredible and inspiring project and we can't wait to take y'all on this journey with us!! <3 <3 >> https://taylorjayphoto.weebly.com/celebration-of-…/the-intro LIKE.COMMENT.SHARE.ENJOY!! Please Like. Comment. Share. Tag. any woman you feel could benefit from Alexandra's amazing, real and raw story!!!!
1 Comment
Ivona Magoon
10/2/2019 05:30:26 pm
Alex, You are Fearless! I prayed for a missionary trainer who was fearless, who loved and trusted God. God blessed our Daughter with you! Thank you for being you!💋❤️
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