I AM PASSIONATE! Kyla’s Story For as long as I can remember I have struggled with self esteem and body image issues. I remember when I was a little kid thinking that my belly was big and that thought alone made me self conscious. No kid should ever feel like they’re ugly or that they aren’t good enough and yet I did. I experienced some bullying in middle school which only added fuel to the fire and reiterated the fact that I wasn’t good enough and that I was “unimportant”. In high school my self esteem issues only got worse. I was in show choir and had a great group of friends, but I never felt like I could truly be myself. I mentally built a wall to hide behind because I never felt pretty or “skinny”. I tried to never draw attention to myself because then people would see me and see all my flaws. I was always self conscious of how I looked. I didn’t date much and I was never confident in myself. I thought for sure the guys who asked me out were just doing it as a joke and not because they liked me. I never thought I would get married and that I would be alone for the rest of my life... But then, I met my forever husband before my senior year of high school and he proposed the summer after I graduated! We were married one month after he proposed and we have been married for ten wonderful years! During those ten years, we have had three amazing and beautiful kids! Though I love my kids and the journey my body went through to bring them into this world, I still find myself hating the way I look. I still have not lost every single pound of the baby weight. Though that is not without effort. I hate dieting and I try and fail most times to make exercise a habit. I found myself constantly comparing myself to other moms. Especially the ones who seem to magically go back to their pre baby bodies right after birth. Getting on social media was so damaging to my confidence because I was never as good or as pretty as the other moms I saw. There would be times I realize I will never love the way I look and I would just exhaust myself with caring too much. So I would stop caring. Those times are the unhealthiest and the darkest for me. I would have suicidal thoughts and think everybody would be better off if I were gone. I remember crying on the floor once thinking about how alone and unloved I was. December of last year and again this past April, I had a miscarriage. That experience pained me to my core. I went through another phase of deep, dark depression. I felt unworthy, like I was doing something wrong and that it was all my fault. I didn’t want to but I felt like I should talk to someone. I just had no idea who I would call. Then I realized who the best person was that I could talk to. Someone who is always listening, someone who knows exactly what we are going through all the time, someone who is there with us every step of the way, MY HEAVENLY FATHER. I knelt down and prayed. I instantly felt lighter and comforted. I felt the love My Savior has for me. I knew that if I ever felt unloved, ugly, and alone, I can always count on Him to lift me up! We are all beautiful through His eyes no matter our circumstances, what we feel about ourselves, or how we look, we are always precious to Him! Without my family, I would not have pulled through! But most importantly, without My Savior, I would have been lost! I chose the word PASSIONATE because I feel such an intense passion for things. If I love or care about something, it takes a lot to get me to forget about it. I wear my emotions on my sleeve and feel things deeply. I sometimes make decisions based on my emotions. I love things strongly and sometimes I dislike things strongly. Since my miscarriage I have found an even greater passion for the things that I have been blessed with. I have become PASSIONATE about taking care of my body the right way. I try to make healthier choices and I try my best to get to the gym often. Not because I sometimes feel like I should be skinnier but because I want to treat my body the way Heavenly Father wants our bodies to be treated, like temples. For me that doesn’t just mean eating healthier and exercising, but also being nicer and more thankful for my body. I have made a conscious decision to love and take care of my body. Sometimes it is a daily decision and a daily struggle. But I am always grateful for all that I have. I am grateful for my body and the things it has accomplished. We are all beautiful and we are all important! Kyla is our ninth BEAUTY we are celebrating!! How incredibly BEAUTIFUL is Kyla?!?! Kyla is SUCH an AMAZING woman!! She is a joy to be around, has the BEST laugh ever ( you can hear it on the BTS video!! ) and was ADORABLE on the photo shoot. She was so funny, every time there was a chipmunk or squirrel this girl lost her mind and pointed it out hahaha "AHH IT'S SO CUTE!!" The whole photo shoot would pause as we all looked and fell in love with those cute creatures just from her reaction <3 <3 She is so funny, such a light, THE WORLD COULD USE MORE KYLA'S!! She is seriously the CUTEST EVER!!!! When Kyla first messaged me with her story I cried, you guys I UGLY CRIED!! I had NO IDEA she had been through such hard things and felt so unlovable for so long!! She's always been soooo stunning and beautiful to me how could a woman as beautiful as her have the same feelings about herself that I have had?! Kyla my heart aches for your feelings and your two miscarriages. I hope you know we all love you, pray for you and our hearts yearn to heal yours. There is something so magical that comes from sharing our hard times, our trials, our loses, our heart aches, our failures with women around us. As sisters in Zion we would all be better off coming together and being there for each other!! We have this magnificent gift to life others up and this amazing yearning to serve. Let's be better and kinder to ourselves, reach out to others, lift each other up, be there for each other and share our stories so we can become closer as sister's in Zion!! Let's all be Passionate, like Kyla, in not only taking care of ourselves and our God-given bodies but passionate in taking care of each other!! I can relate to her story on such a deep level. It's always soooo crazy to realize WE ARE NOT ALONE in our struggles, in our trials, in our yearning to feel loved. Other women go through them too, even if everything seems perfect on the outside or on social media. KYLA IS BEAUTIFUL, with a beautiful soul and heart to match. I have been soooo impressed with this woman!! I remember being in her ward and I would just stare at her in awe of her beauty and smile. I always thought, I would give anything to photograph that BEAUTIFUL lady. The way she carried herself and how cute she was with her family helped me be kinder to myself, carry myself better and I was kinder to my family just by her example!! I'm not sure we ever really talked but I always was so impressed with her!! Kyla, THANK YOU for being such a light in my life and example to me just by being you!! You are the type of woman that will change the world for the better!! You can do and achieve ANYTHING you set your mind to!!!! Kyla, I can't imagine the pain, heart ache and grief that comes from losing not one, but two babies. You are SUCH a strong woman and the Lord knows how strong you are!! You are such a beautiful example of light to any and all those who meet you, or like me, just see you from a distance. I'm soooo thankful we are friends now and forever and that I have had this most precious opportunity to get to know you better, to listen to your story, to photography you (!!), to feel of your heart ache and to help you realize you're NOT ALONE in feeling this way and soooo many wonderful women are going to be moved, touched and changed through your example and kindness. We love you Kyla!!!! THANK YOU SOOOO MUCH KYLA FOR BEING APART OF THIS!!!! You are truly an inspiration, an AMAZING woman and you're so incredibly BEAUTIFUL!! It was an HONOR to get to know you, to read of your journey to self-LOVING, to photograph you intense beauty and to become closer friends with you!! I think you are simply, AMAZING!! You can 100% do ANYTHING you put your mind to and you are going to ROCK whatever you decide to do!! You are INCREDIBLE and I just think the world of you Kyla and... KYLA, YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL!!!! <3 Alexa Taylor-Jay Ogilvie Taylor Jay Photography It is CRAZY SCARY to put your story out there for the world to see, to talk about such hard things/times. But THIS woman is so strong, so courageous and is sharing HER story with the intent to help other women see themselves as God does. To help YOU on your journey to self-LOVING!! If her story, her courage and her heart touches you please let her know by commenting below!! I JUST ADORE YOU KYLA!!!! This photo shoot was a dual effort!! The other master photographer behind this photo shoot and idea is Kelsey Bailey Photography!! Please go 'like' her Facebook page >> https://www.facebook.com/KelseyBaileyPhoto/ and click here to view HER STUNNING PHOTOS of Cassie Firth and all her Celebration of beauty photos as well from our shoot!! >> https://kelseybaileyphotography.weebly.com/celebration-of-beauty/i-am-passionate-kylas-story We had a master videographer documenting every little amazing, tender and BEAUTIFUL moment!! Please click here to see Shaun Schofield from DOZE Videos AMAZING BTS video and get excited to see allllllll the beautiful pictures, stories and the grand finale of throwing color COMING YOUR WAY!!!! Please go 'like' his Facebook page >> https://www.facebook.com/dozevideos/ View Shaun's AWESOME BTS video of our Celebration of Beauty project on his youtube.com channel Please click here to see: >> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b8xniy6r68A Taylor Jay Photography - my Facebook page >> https://www.facebook.com/taylorjayphotography/ Here's ALLLL the details below to the why we are posting these women, their personal stories and their journey to no longer self-hating but SELF-LOVING!!!! This is an incredible and inspiring project and we can't wait to take y'all on this journey with us!! <3 <3 >> https://taylorjayphoto.weebly.com/celebration-of-…/the-intro LIKE.COMMENT.SHARE.ENJOY!! Please Like. Comment. Share. Tag. any woman you feel could benefit from Kyla's amazing, real and raw story!!!!
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