I AM GENTLE! Steffani’s Story For as long as I can remember I’ve struggled with severe anxiety. For some, anxiety may feel small... but for others like me, my anxiety is in one word, crippling. The feeling of belonging and knowing that I am a beautiful and strong woman has always been a battle that has seldom been won throughout different times in my life. I’ve always felt awkward around others, especially in elementary school because I was one of the tallest and skinniest in my class. By my freshman year of high school, I became extremely self- conscious and aware of my weight and appearance. I suddenly had feelings and fears of being accepted. Accepted for who I was and what I looked like and those feelings would haunt my everyday thoughts. I told myself daily that I wasn’t pretty, that I looked fat (even though I hadn’t really gained any noticeable weight), and that my friends are only there because they are taking pity on me. What was supposed to be some of the best days of my life, slowly became a place of dread and fake smiles. Not even my own parents knew of my struggles and yearning to belong. I hardly ate at school; often throwing away my lunch and when I did eat, I tried to do it in private for fear of others watching me. One day shortly after graduation I decided that I didn’t want to live in fear anymore. However, when I met my sweetheart four months later, the self- consciousness and doubtful feelings slowly crept their way back into my mind. I know my husband loves me for me, along with my family and friends, but it’s still a struggle sometimes accepting that fact. I often wonder who I truly am and struggle with wondering how others perceive me. I chose the word GENTLE for my word of empowerment. This word serves to me as a reminder that I need to be Gentle with my thoughts and actions towards myself just as I am gentle with my thoughts and actions towards others. None of those negative thoughts matter in the eyes of my Savior and Father in Heaven. It is simply the adversary trying to win his war against mankind and me. I WILL NOT allow Satan to have control over me any longer! After all, our Father in Heaven created women and men alike in His own image, which is simply… perfection, and that includes me! I know my Savior loves me just the way I am simply because of the peace and comfort He brings to me when I am on my knees pleading with Him to help me “change”. He assures me that the only change He requires is that I change my ill-feelings towards myself. I am a woman that was created by a perfect being and not created to please the world. This brings me hope for the future because I know that I have an army of family, friends, and angels on my side when I feel any doubt or fear. Steffani is our fifth BEAUTY we are celebrating!! How incredibly BEAUTIFUL is Steffani?!?! Steffani is a BEAUTIFUL friend of mine that I have known for years now. She and I have become very close over those years and I was SO EXCITED that she answered my model call and wanted to be apart of this project!! I LOVE photographing this lovely woman!! Her amazing gentle nature is the yin to my yang :):) She has this amazing way to see the light, to be the light and to help others find the light. She is a striking presence and you can't help but be in awe of her beauty. She is so kind, so genuine and SO SWEET. I always love our time together!! Steffani's story is incredible. Hearing about what she has struggled with broke my heart and also made me love her even more. I have felt those EXACT feelings and it's honestly so nice to know I'm not alone in feeling that way sometimes!! We are all better for sharing our hard times with others around us. It helps, inspires, comforts and eases others' burdens, just by simply helping them to know and feel, I AM NOT ALONE!! We would all be better off if we were real and raw with each other instead of trying to be this idea of 'perfect' and constantly trying to one up each other!! That is just setting ourselves up for failure and sadness. Happiness comes from being real, being raw, and in rejoicing in what God has given you. Steffani's story helped me to realize more in depth as to what that means. I am so in awe of your bravery, your gentle nature and your beauty Steffani. I am SO grateful for your friendship and that YOU were apart of this project!! Steffani's story really hit home for me and I was truly inspired by it. I hope you are too!! I hope we can all learn to be a little more gentle towards ourselves and others. I am a better me for having Steffani in my life, as my friend and as a BEAUTY in this project!! We love you Steffani!!!! THANK YOU SOOOO MUCH STEFFANI FOR BEING APART OF THIS!!!! You are brave, strong and BEAUTIFUL!!!! What an honor it was to photograph you, listen to your story, become closer friends with you and truly see and help other women feel of the natural bright light you are!! I just think the world of you and STEFFANI, YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL!!!! <3 Alexa Taylor-Jay Ogilvie Taylor Jay Photography It is CRAZY SCARY to put your story out there for the world to see, to talk about such hard things/times. But THIS woman is so strong, so courageous and is sharing HER story with the intent to help other women see themselves as God does. To help YOU on your journey to self-LOVING!! If her story, her courage and her heart touches you please let her know by commenting below!! I JUST THINK THE WORLD OF YOU STEFFANI!!!! This photo shoot was a dual effort!! The other master photographer behind this photo shoot and idea is Kelsey Bailey Photography!! Please go 'like' her Facebook page >> https://www.facebook.com/KelseyBaileyPhoto/ and click here to view HER STUNNING PHOTOS of Steffani Rowley and all her Celebration of beauty photos as well from our shoot!! >> https://kelseybaileyphotography.weebly.com/celebration-of-beauty/i-am-gentle-steffanis-story We had a master videographer documenting every little amazing, tender and BEAUTIFUL moment!! Please click here to see Shaun Schofield from DOZE Videos AMAZING BTS video and get excited to see allllllll the beautiful pictures, stories and the grand finale of throwing color COMING YOUR WAY!!!! Please go 'like' his Facebook page >> https://www.facebook.com/dozevideos/ View Shaun's AWESOME BTS video of our Celebration of Beauty project on his youtube.com channel Please click here to see: >> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b8xniy6r68A Taylor Jay Photography - my Facebook page >> https://www.facebook.com/taylorjayphotography/ Here's ALLLL the details below to the why we are posting these women, their personal stories and their journey to no longer self-hating but SELF-LOVING!!!! This is an incredible and inspiring project and we can't wait to take y'all on this journey with us!! <3 <3 >> https://taylorjayphoto.weebly.com/celebration-of-…/the-intro LIKE.COMMENT.SHARE.ENJOY!! Please Like. Comment. Share. Tag. any woman you feel could benefit from Steffani's amazing, real and raw story!!!!
1 Comment
Katreena
4/5/2022 10:16:55 am
As someone who knew and LOVED you in High-school, please know that never at any moment was our friendship based on pity! You are such a wonder and light to this world. Kind, strong, resilient, and smart to boot! I had no idea you felt this way, but my hope for you is to know that this world has never have seen you as anything but beautiful, inside and out! Thank you for posting, being vulnerable is so hard but you are so graceful at it. You have always been inspirational to me, and aI am sure countless others.
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